nothing going on

{ all these photos are taken on manual - woo! }

I've finally learned how to shoot on manual, and it's not as difficult as I had expected. 

This month has been plain, flat boring. I haven't done anything exciting lately.

Anyways, I'm sorry for being away for a long time. This week actually lasted longer than I thought. They call "hell week", because it's the end of the term. It's when all the work starts to come in and eventually would leave us all hanging on sewing thread. 

I promise a better post soon.

Until then, see this & this & this and fall in love all over again.

Aaron Johnson, you beautiful thing.

nothing lasts forever

My eight year old cousin asked me one day to not grow up.

Well?


----

A few years ago, when Tumblr was my inspiration space, I came across this text post that read: "Remember when one of the only things we used to cry about were the wounds on our knees?" And it hit me pretty hard. Wow, I told myself. I miss being a lot younger. You know, how everything else in the world besides cookies didn't matter?

It's stupefyingly awful, actually - the fact that nothing lasts forever. This only place that I can call my home - the way the cracks on bathroom tiles curve, or the way the paint on our roof slowly starts to lose its color- won't last forever. The recipe to my all time favorite cinnamon cookies won't last forever - neither will those cookies in the jar. And this "youth"? This, somehow, short amount of time that I have left before I graduate high school, and sooner or later graduate college - it won't last forever. And honestly? It's kinda sad.

I've thought about this almost a hundred of times - what does an old man or woman feel when they see kids? I mean, I'm practically still a kid, I run after Ice Cream carts that roam the streets, I open the window of our car and stick my head out, allowing the wind to graze through my bouncy hair. I still design my own pizzas, once in a while I climb trees. I brag my tennis skills to my younger cousins who can merely hit the ball, I host running events with my friends - I can't help it, I am a kid. 

But how does it feel - for my grandma, who's almost eighty years old, to look at me running, jumping and being so lively? Does jealousy continuously sting? Does her head and heart start to ache as she (most probably) has some vague memories of her childhood?

Source (Tumblr) 

 

Remind me to check back at this post about 80 years from now if I get to make it, but I think I'd cry. Really, 101% honestly. The pain will continuously throb on my heart - how it's over. My youth. Will I even remember this blog? Will I remember this house - the cracks on the bathroom tiles, that cinnamon recipe of mine - my freshman year, my birthday - anything? 

This is why I take photographs. I take photos to remember. To look back. Once a month, I go through my whole hard drive, looking at photos from birthdays, from occasions, from everyday life in school to huge events in hotels and such. When I take a photo, I stop time. It's like a single moment, frozen for as long as we can think.

Nothing lasts forever, indeed. People will leave, places will be brought down and even memories will slowly fade. It's stupefyingly awful, but that's how it is. And I'll kinda have to accept that.

this blog

A few days ago, my little cousin Raya found me complaining about my blog name. She asked me what was wrong, and I told her about how my blog name didn't really represent what I was trying to say - the message from my life that I want to convey to all of you. I told her about how odd and strange it was, how flawed it was top to bottom: and then I told her that I was thinking of a new blog title.

"Stella? I like Tease Your Toes. It's unique. Don't change it, please."

Now, yes, I'd admit: I've had some insecurities about this blog, about its content- about everything. I've been thinking a lot about this blog and its essence - truly something I don't want to lose, but definitely something I want to improve on.

I've got lots to say about what I've been thinking about towards this little cyberspace of mine - how I treat it, why I use it and its relevance. I have honestly been so inspired by so many of you, words cannot (and might not ever) suffice.

So?

Koala-tea over quantity.
I'm going to try it all differently.
I'm going to blog like I mean it.
I'm going to mean what I write and photograph.
I'm going to try my best to post some good stuff.

You know? Real, real stuff.

And this blog name? I think it'll stick.
There's still that strange yet joyful vibe about it.

innovations are always for the better, now, aren't they?

a happy customer

Note! In no way was I asked, influenced or required to write about this, I am merely sharing what's been making me happy for the past week! :)

I stumbled upon My Four Hens photography a few months ago, and you cannot believe how happy I am with my purchase. I bought their Serendipity Lightroom set which was placed at a fair price - almost a dollar for a versatile preset, with three extra ones!

And, I have to say, these presets are really doing me lots'a good.

If you've been debating on getting these presets or not, let me save your life by telling you to get them. If you haven't browsed the website yet, go now, buy something and have the most fun you might ever have when it comes to editing on Lightroom! I am actually looking forward to purchasing another set! Have fun!